Why is it hard to leave even when you know it’s abuse?
It takes up to 7 attempts to leave an abusive relationship for good.
Breaking Free: Escaping an Abusive Relationship
Leaving an abusive relationship is a courageous step towards reclaiming your freedom and self-worth. It takes tremendous strength and resilience to break free from the cycle of emotional, physical, or psychological abuse. Choosing to walk away from toxicity signifies a commitment to building a safer, healthier future. Embracing this new chapter allows individuals to rediscover their inner strength and embark on a journey of healing and self-discovery.
Why Leaving an Abusive Relationship is Difficult
Leaving an abusive relationship can be exceedingly challenging due to a myriad of complex factors. Victims often experience a profound emotional and psychological dependence on their abuser, which can develop over time through manipulation, isolation, and control. Fear of retaliation, whether physical or emotional, can also paralyze individuals, making them feel trapped in a dangerous situation. Additionally, financial constraints and lack of external support may further inhibit the ability to break free. Overcoming the psychological trauma and building the necessary courage to leave often requires extensive support, resources, and a safe exit strategy.
Reasons why a victim may struggle leaving an abusive relationship:
The abuser maintains full financial control and the victim has no funds to leave
The abuser threatens to harm themselves if the victim leaves, threatens to harm the victim, threaten to harm the children, threaten to harm the victims family or threatens to harm a pet
The physical violence may be so severe the victim is terrified it may escalate to death
The abuser has threatened to release intimate pictures, videos or information on the victim
The abuser threatens to retaliate and ruin the victims reputation or job
The victim has no support system because the abuser has either physically or emotionally isolated them from their family and friends.
The abuser has convinced the victim to be a stay at home parent, not advance themselves with a career, education or new business ventures to be successful on their own, away from the abuser.
The abuser manipulates the victim into believing they will change via counseling, therapy, rehab, or religion. Rarely is it because the abuser will change, it is a tactic to learn new ways of abuse, hiding the abuse better and confusing the victim further.
The abuser threatens to enter family court and take the children away from the abuser. The victim typically struggles financially and feels stuck because they cannot afford legal counsel and the abuser can
Your own unhealed childhood trauma may feel more comfortable in the chaos than the peace
If you are considering escaping an abusive relationship you are not alone, and know it is possible. Give yourself grace if you go back to your abuser, if you do not feel “ready’ to leave, or if you plan your strategic escape that may take years.