5 ways to be more focused during consults with Court professionals
I remember when I first started my Family Court journey and I thought all I had to do was tell everyone my story and if I told all of the truth they would all help me. wrong! What was happening is the trauma was overwhelming for me, therefore it was overwhelming for the court professional and they too could not focus on the issues. This is where abusers thrive! They are master manipulators that seem so calm, collected, and unbothered so they win over these court professionals even though they are the perpetrators.
So how do you focus your thoughts enough to speak in a consult with an attorney, a divorce coach, a mediator, a custody evaluator or any other court professional? Let’s work through this together!
When meeting with court professionals, it is crucial to maintain focus to ensure clear communication and understanding of the legal proceedings. Staying attentive during these interactions helps individuals grasp the information being shared, ask relevant questions, and provide accurate responses. This is extremely hard especially when you are retraumatized every time you speak about your trauma- rather than healing. But you still may need to speak on your story for some sort of guidance or assistance from these professionals. Court professionals, such as judges, lawyers, and clerks, deal with complex legal matters that require precision and attention to detail. By demonstrating focus during these meetings, individuals show respect for the legal process and convey their seriousness about the case at hand. Additionally, being focused can help individuals make informed decisions and act in their best interests within the legal system.
Trauma can significantly impact one's ability to stay focused. Individuals who have experienced trauma may find it challenging to concentrate due to symptoms such as intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and hypervigilance. The brain's response to trauma can lead to difficulties in regulating attention and emotions, making it hard to stay present and focused on tasks. Furthermore, the persistent stress and anxiety resulting from trauma can overwhelm the mind, affecting cognitive function and hindering productivity. Coping with the aftermath of trauma requires patience, self-compassion, and sometimes professional support to navigate the obstacles to maintaining focus in daily life.
So how can you be more focused while escaping an abusive relationship or navigating post separation abuse? How can you communicate effectively with those working on your court case for you?
Here’s 5 ways to be focused when you hold the first meeting with court professionals:
Identify which type of professional you are meeting with.
If you are meeting with your attorney you may want to be a little more detailed and open than let’s say minors counsel involved. If it is a custody evaluator you may need to focus more on the facts and evidence, with help from your attorney if you have one, and may want to be less open about strategy you and your attorney may be utilizing. Your language used may change depending on the court professional you are meeting with.
Be prepared.
Regardless as to what professional you are meeting with, you should not only be mentally prepared for the meeting but you should also have a starting point on documents. It depends on the court professional if they would like to review the documents, but you come across more organized and level headed when you come prepared with documents for them to review. This also helps with any confusion on the conversation once the meeting ends.
Create an elevator pitch.
An elevator pitch is a concise and persuasive summary used to quickly and effectively introduce a person, product, service, or idea. It is called an elevator pitch because it should be brief enough to deliver during a short elevator ride, typically lasting around 30 seconds to 2 minutes. The goal of an elevator pitch is to capture the listener's attention, communicate key information, and generate interest in further discussion. Crafting a strong elevator pitch requires clarity, focus, and a deep understanding of the audience to tailor the message effectively.
Write your questions
Make a list of questions prior to entering the meeting with the court professional. Your questions may be something they can answer at that time, or it may be something that you are creating a strategy with later. You need to create questions that are intentional during this meeting. Remember, most court professionals will charge you to contact them again so you want to gain as much info as you can during your time with them.
Practice active listening
Active listening is a communication technique that involves fully concentrating on what is being said by a speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. It goes beyond simply hearing words by also paying attention to nonverbal cues, such as tone of voice and body language. Active listening requires the listener to provide feedback, summarize key points, ask clarifying questions, and show empathy towards the speaker. By practicing active listening, individuals can improve their relationships, resolve conflicts more effectively, and foster a deeper sense of understanding and connection with others. When you actively listen you may gain more even if you do not continue working with that court professional.
Implementing these tips will be a crucial aspect of your successful strategy, as it is part of your forward action against your coercivelly controlling co-parent. When it comes to applying tips effectively, it is essential to start by carefully understanding these tips and understanding where you are at in your family court journey.
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